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A Letter

I wrote you a letter
of words in my head
I placed them on paper
And kept it under my bed

In a box of memories
I kept since day one
some polaroids, a rose
A paper stub from a gambling game I won

I card from your brother
A card from your mom
A steel keychain you made me
A rock, don’t know where that’s from

…..but

One morning I woke
To find dust on the floor
And I knew that this box
I could not keep anymore

The lies, they surfaced
the secrets you formed
All arrived in an instant
Like the perfect storm

How easy the match lighted
How strong the flame turned
And I smiled as I watched
All the old memories of us burn

A picture of us dancing
At my brothers wedding last year
Another of New Years in Pennsylvania
I whispered something funny in your ear…

The shredder hummed a tune
As I slipped each picture in its lips
But a tear came to my eye with the letter
as it left my fingertips

Words that kept me up at night
Words I thought you’d get to see
Now crumpled in the waste bin
Much like your very memory of me

Most days I find easy
Most days I don’t think of you at all
But some days will spark a memory
And I stumble, then I fall

I hope that you are happy
and I hope that she is too
I hope she feels the way I did
The first night I smiled at you

You gave me a gift you’ll never know
A gift so pure and true
The gift of understanding, in all
I deserve much better than you!

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